sort of stroganoff

[ilyena_sylph]

celery
onion
minced garlic
stew beef
beef broth
paprika
rice
coconut aminos (or soy sauce)
tapioca starch
sour cream
half & half

So. Finely dice 1 stick celery from a Shnucks pack.
Finely dice... four? five? boiler onions.
Rehydrate some minced garlic.
heat a decent splash of olive oil in pan, add celery. Sautee until starting to be translucent.
Add diced onion. Sautee.
Add the garlic and the shot glass full of water you rehydrated it in.
stir, cover, start finely dicing the stew meat you bought.
Stop when the water evaporates off the onion-garlic-celery mixture, add more olive oil, stir firmly, wait a couple of minutes, add half a cup of so of beef broth, cover.
Return to chopping meat.
Check the onion mess, oh shit, it's actually browning. Add more beef broth, granulated garlic, a little paprika, some season salt. Frown and pour off into a medium mixing bowl, add a little oil to heat back up.
Start a good cup of rice in the rice cooker.
Finish chopping the goddamn meat. Salt meat. Thoroughly cover giant-ass skillet's in beef. Oh crap, there's still quite a bit. Fine, we'll sear this in two batches.
Sear meat, scattering with paprika, celery seed, and season salt. Pour meat on top of the onion mixture. Sear other half of meat.
Pour meat and onion stuff back into skillet. Add lots of the box of beef broth, stir, simmer. Add some coconut aminos to taste.
Eye the rice. Yep, gonna be done soon.
Mix some of the beef broth with a quarter cup of tapioca starch. Add that to the meat. Stir 'til gravy.
Turn heat to low. Add 1 8oz package sour cream to the whole thing. Stir vigorously. Frown at consistency.
Add 8oz half and half. Stir. Taste. Spice as needed.
Unplug the rice cooker when it yells at you. Add some margarine and salt to the rice.

Decide it's food.